HOL UP. Yes the description is too long, try to keep it a decent length, but not a full lab-report (those aren't fun to write).
Back to what I was here for:
SWEET MOTHER OF FLUFF! You have an amazing sense of color, light, and shading! I don't think I can go through everything specifically that needs to be fixed, but from what I (skimmed over) saw in the desc, you know a lot of what's wrong. So yeah, anatomy and perspective, just look at some stuff for that and with practice comes perfect! Good luck!